Projects New.....

Being in a film studies class, introduces to some rather brilliant films your probably would have never stumbled upon in a million years.

This film is one of those;

This is Le Jetee, the film is by Chris Marker, it's science fiction and made up entirely of still photographs. It's from 1962 and it tells the story of a post-apocolyptic Paris after the third world war. In which the underground inhabitants are experimenting with time-travel. Whats interesting is that even though the images are not actually moving they feel as though they are.

Just one of those days....

I talk openly a lot about the mood swings I tend to suffer. The flying high sensations of the ups and the earth shattering lows of the downs.

Today my bubble has been popped; Everyday for the last week I've been feeling happier, I've found some amazing friends for the first time in a long time, I've been going out, got millions of plans. I've never felt better about my work and the work that I've been doing. And now....

Now I feel nothing; thats wrong I do feel, I feel like my world is crumbling around me, I want to cry but the tears won't form because crying is weak isn't it? No instead of crying I want to destroy and hurt, I want to feel to have some thrill.
I want to go out for a walk into the woods right now, I can see it, I can see walking up the road and down the path into the woods, I can feel the pain in my chest the thrill of being so alone, anything could happen.
I want a drink a strong one, I don't drink hardly ever, I hardly ever go out but now all I want to do is get so drunk I can't think or feel anything something to make me forget this feeling.

The best way to describe it is that of a stone, imagine a life bouy rising up through the depths of water for days and days and then it floats there on the top until someone attatches a stone and it sinks, it feels like something is pulling you under, every muscle in your body feels like it's  trying to hard, your chest feels like it's working to hard. This is just the start though more often then not it will progress onto what I like to call the Hannibal Lecter Phase, the reason I gave it this name was because it's the best way to describe, the calm aritstocratic angry way in which Lecter commits his crimes is the same anger that will brim inside me, it feels like your a highly intelligent being, like every little move you make is calculated just to confuddle your enemy. To make them see how indifferent you are to how much they scream and shout.

It's odd it comes in waves either a calm angry, or a desperatley drowning depression. Any smile that is seen across my face feels like it takes to much effort to make, especially fake.
I don't know what led me down into this darkened room, I don't know what will pull me out, it could last a few hours or a few days.
I just know that right now I can't see past the end of my own nose, let alone what I will do in 20 minutes times, the waiting and the wondering don't help, writing bores me right now, writing reading even watching TV is to much effort.

Ugly Duckling Out xx

The Best Way To Eat An Apple ;) (In my opinion)

The Best Way To Eat An Apple.

I bet your thinking are you mad woman! Eating an apple is as simple as ABC, it doesn't require special skills.
But oh how wrong you are my friends there are many different way to eat an apple.
Maybe for example your a biter .......

Or maybe you like to cut it into segments,

Maybe you even like to peel those segments first. Maybe you like to cut it in half devour one half and leave the other in the fridge. Maybe you only eat them on bonfire night or you love to dip them in something sweet. Maybe you even like to coat them in something like cheese and pop them in the oven.

For me though absolutley nothing beats this way of eating an apple.

Ok so maybe it's more in the cutting then the actual eating, but it turns the eating into an experience.
For me there is nothing better then holding an apple in one hand and a knife in the other and just taking chunks off the apple and popping them straight into my mouth. It makes me salivate just thinking about, espeically when it's a big green Granny Smiths apple because they are indeed a beautiful breed.
It's not just the fact your not picking it off a plate, it's kind of taking the eating back to days when plates were not used, I imagine its how Robin Hood would eat his apple. Or it is indeed the way the wise old man eats his.
I guess it's a filmic thing with me, the idea, the picture in my head as I eat it like that.
But there is no doubt in my mind that this beats, grabbing one and taking a huge bite, or neatly chopping it and picking your favourite bits off a plate.

Ugly Duckling Out xx