"I'd Be Like Two-Face In His Lair With These Two" or My New Loves. Also A Little Challenge...

Alan Rickman will forever be loved by me, that in unquestionable, he's an amazing actor and was in many regards the first person I fell in love with at the tender age of 8/9.

I mean really I challenge anyone not to love him.
Anywho Mr Rickman aside, I have two new found loves.

First off I want to say something about Guy Henry who is just divine he's wonderful, he's tall and dark and handsome and such a lovely man and I've rather fallen in love with him since about January. For now though it is not him I want to talk about.

What I want to talk about is Holby City, In particular The Swede and The Teddy Bear (as I like to call them).

This is where the two face element comes in, oh how it would be heaven with these two, I would have the two sides of the coin that I love so much.
Like Two-Face in Batman

On the one side he has the light on the other he has the dark, in my case it would be Dr Sacha Levy and Henrick Hanssenn.

"I Want Bi Polar Disorder" Article and some thoughts......

I don't know whether I mentioned on here or not but last week, last friday to be exact, after years of going to the Doctors and trying to tell them I thought their was something wrong with me they packed me off to the Psychiatrist.
After being asked lots of questions by them, they've told me to keep a mood diary and they gave me some hints and tips which I don't remember. They've told me to do this because they think it's a possibility I could have it. While I'm releived though, I'm also rather apprehensive.
I decided to do some research on how to keep a mood chart today, and came across this article....

http://www.acutecareprogramme.org.uk/silo/files/i-want-to-be-bipolar.pdf

Now I don't understand why anyone would want a mental illness, it's not nice. What worries me though is could my Doctors see me as one of these people?

A Glorious trip To The Park.......

So after I finished work today me and two of my friends ventured to the park.

Ok so the park didn't look like this, but you get the idea. My friend brought her little girl to and she was so cute. Shes a proper little cheeky monkey, a real cute kid.
For all the moaning I did the other day about parents and kids I really enjoyed being with them though, shes a normal kid but shes really cute and just fun lol. I enjoy entertaining her to.
Anyway we got some drinks and sweets and sat on the park for an hour and a half got some good pictures and a good video of my friend running around quoting East is East.
The one thing that was missing though was one of my other friends were like a four piece jigsaw me and I would call them my best friends, so it really feels a bit wierd when one of them isn't their. I don't know how they feel about it, maybe they are fine without me there it probably doesn't really matter to them but to me it does.
Anyway we had fun and then I came home to my lovely boyfriend who bought me and him tickets to Frankenstein at the corner house, it's a live streaming of the Danny Boyle version from the national theatre so I'm rather excited about that :) <3

Weight..... It's a funny word.

Weight, I hate that word along with dress sizes, skinny, fat, obese, anorexia.
Some people are naturally fat some naturally thin. Who wrote the guidelines for what the ideal weight is?
Probably some doctor hauld up in a room somewhere.

Today in our culture were obsessed with weight, with eating and unhealthy earting, were obsessed with how we look.
I disgust myself, not because I'm fat or overweight whatever you want to call it but because I sometimes picture myself as this slim supermodel, it's depressing that image and makes me feel disgusting the image of the skinny girl makes me a little sick, a skinny me for who? The people who look at me? would it make me feel any better? the answer is no. It's the vainnes that makes me feel sick I should add, not the thought of me as I am.
I don't want the attention of males, I don't want people looking at me and thinking wow, I'm a curvy girl (size 16) and proud of it, sure when some people look at me they might see a beautiful girl, but most won't, most people will have to speak to me before they judge me, I'd rather someone fall in love with my personality then my looks. Spoken like a true fat girl you say. NO!
Spoken like a true wierd looking kid. I don't want to be beautiful and glamourous which would be the only reason for loosing weight.

I know I know the health, the health thing. To be fair I've got a pretty throwaway attitude to my life. I'm an insignificant dot in a vast universe. I figure we just live it. Thats life shit happens, if I die young I wanna die fast, If I die old a grey so be it, come what may. People say life is worth fighting for. I don't know if it is though, I mean really life doesn't change that much after certain experiences it does for a while and falls back into the same patterns. Same epic fails and smae epic highs. It's just a rollercoaster. When your times up your times up. People will tell me I'm wrong and blah blah blah it's my life at the end of the day, I live it day to day, I'm not crazy I don't take drugs go out drinking all the time or go thrill seeking I just live my life how I live it.  I'm sorry if it sounds selfish, I'm not a selfish person, but life is the one thing that is truthfully ours to do what we want with, in a matter of minutes I could end all of it. Or carry on.

I know that health is a big issue and what not and I'm not telling people not to be healthy. I'm just saying that people should be comfortable in their own skin, if we all looked the same the world would be a place rather like a scene from equilibreum. I believe that everyone should be comfortable in their own skin.
Fat, thin, tall, short, gay, straight, black or white. Be healthy but be happy. If you are happier as a size 16 be a size 16 if your happier as a 12 go to a 12.

My point is everyone should be happy in their own skin and if you are happy in your own skin then don't let other people try to change you or bring you down. It's your life live it the way you want. :)

Ugly duckling Out xxx

The Simple Art of Comedy.....

Last night I watched a rather brilliant film, a film so bad it was good, it didn't have amazing visuals, beautiful scenery and a cast of hollywoods biggest and brighest upcoming stars.
No this film consisted of middle aged men, run of the mill women and animals.
Last night I watched Fierce Creatures a film from 1997 starring John Cleese, Michael Palin, Jamie Lee Curtis, Ronnie Corbet Kevin Kline and Robert Linsay.

Some Parents Need to Realise Not Everyone Likes Kids.........

Ok so I work in a kids shop, meaning I should love kids right? NO You couldn't be more wrong and their is nothing worse for me then pushy parents out in a park who insist everyone must love their kids, therefore their kids even when kicking a ball at someone are doing nothing wrong.